Do you want to introduce sex toys into your relationship but you are worried about what your partner might think? Perhaps they have made jokes in the past and you feel they won’t be into the idea? Whatever the case, introducing sex toys into a relationship can be a rather daunting and overwhelming move, but that’s not to say it won’t be achievable. If you pay attention to the following steps, all should go smoothly.
Start by creating a culture of honesty and open communication
First of all, you need to make sure that you and your partner are comfortable speaking with each other about more intimate subjects. When you establish a culture of open communication in your relationship, bringing up the subject of sex toys will no longer feel scary to you.
The fact is, you should be able to feel confident speaking to your partner about absolutely everything. So, speak to them. Tell them that you would like to be more open and communicative with them and then go from there. When you normalize talking about sex you may find that your partner is far more outgoing than you thought.
Find an appropriate situation to broach the subject
If you are both about to have sex and you surprise them by whipping out a sex toy, then you may be putting them in an awkward position. Of course, there’s always a good chance that they will be excited and open to the idea, however, you need to broach the subject in a situation where they can say no if they don’t feel comfortable.
So, once you have established a culture of honesty and open communication, find the right time to start asking them questions and broaching the subject of sex toys.
Ask them how they feel about sex toys
Arguably the best way to gauge as to whether or not your partner will be open to the idea is to simply come out and ask them directly. Ask them if they’ve ever considered using sex toys before. Perhaps they might find the idea sexy? This is a good opportunity to see how they feel about it and get an honest response from them.
If they express doubt or don’t seem particularly interested, then you can start exploring the reasons as to why. You can ask them if they think that your desire to introduce sex toys is because you aren’t satisfied with them. In that case, it’s a great opportunity for you to put their fears to bed and ensure that you are perfectly satisfied with them, only you want to explore new and exciting ways to enjoy each other.
Be very specific about the kind of toys that you want to try
The topic of sex toys is incredibly broad and what you might have in mind could be wildly different to their expectations. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We all have different tastes and desires and exploring sex toys allows us to experience new things in the bedroom with our partners. However, it is important that you communicate openly and tell your partner specifically what you would like to try and ask them if they had anything in mind. That way, you can work toward buying some toys that suit you both.
Ask them if they would like to watch porn with you
Watching porn together is a great way of spicing things up in the bedroom and breaking out of that routine. Not only that, but it’s a brilliant opportunity for you both to see some of the sex toys that you may be interested in, in action. Once they have been exposed to sex toys they will begin to feel more comfortable with the idea. You may even find that your partner suggests that you give them a try!
Let them take control
If you worry that your partner might be averse to the idea of sex toys because they feel inadequate or that they will no longer have any control, then perhaps let them take the lead. There are a number of app-controlled sex toys that you can share. These allow your partner to be in total control of the functionality and level of vibration coming from the sex toy, thus being in control of your pleasurable experience. This approach could be a great way of breaking the ice and getting them excited by the idea of it.
Look at different sex toys together
It might be fun to head over to an adult retailer and start exploring some quality sex toys together. This is an effective way of normalizing them and familiarising your partner with just how many incredible and exciting toys there are on the market. Who knows, they may even suggest an impulse buy on the spot!
Ask them if there is a specific sex toy that excites them
Introducing sex toys into a relationship is an experience that should benefit both of you. So, while you may be interested in buying a vibrator, why not try asking them if there is a specific sex toy that excites them? If your partner wants to try a male masturbator, don’t shame them; encourage it!
Don’t be too forceful of the idea
The most important thing of all is that you not be too forceful of the idea. Often all it takes is a little patience and communication. If you are too ‘in your face’ about the idea, it could put them off and make them feel uncomfortable. Give them time and then broach the subject another time to see if they are any more open to the idea.
Talk about your experiences afterward
If all goes well and your partner agrees to explore the idea, then make sure you discuss your experiences afterward. Just because they agreed to try a sex toy out with you, doesn’t necessarily mean that they thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Talk it through and discuss what you enjoyed and what you perhaps found a little awkward. That way, you can move forward appropriately – either stocking up on even more toys or trying something different entirely.